Kevin Palmieri joins Paula Christine to discuss success and how to define and achieve it. Kevin shares his personal journey of redefining success from being solely financially wealthy to prioritizing health, wealth, and love. He emphasizes the importance of becoming the most capable and competent version of oneself in all areas of life. Kevin also discusses the power of tracking habits and shares his own list of 26 daily habits that help him stay focused and make progress towards his goals. He encourages listeners to aim for consistent progress rather than perfection and to focus on the most important tasks each day. Kevin shares a powerful story of helping a client overcome her fear of approaching strangers and how it transformed her life. He also discusses the concept of borrowing belief and how it can help individuals overcome limiting beliefs and achieve their goals. The conversation concludes with Kevin sharing his favorite book, "Mindset" by Carol Dweck, which helped him shift from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset.
Key Takeaways:
To connect with Kevin and find his podcasts, visit www.nextleveluniverse.com or email kevin@nextleveluniverse.com. For more from Paula, visit www.paulachristine.com or email paula@paulachristine.com.
0:00:06 - (Paula): Hi and welcome to Beyond the Paycheck. I'm Paula Christine. So today we're talking with Kevin Palmieri, who I don't know how best to describe him, but I really love his philosophy when he's working with his clients, and this has caught my eye pretty quickly, is that he uses a no bullshit approach to self improvement. And I love that. So welcome, Kevin.
0:00:25 - (Kevin): Thank you so very much for having me, Paula. I appreciate it. It's a balance. It's a heart driven but no BS. I'm heart driven, but I want to give you the truth because the truth is important.
0:00:33 - (Paula): I know, but I wanted to take the heart driven part out.
0:00:37 - (Kevin): I think you just wanted to say bullshit on the podcast, Paula.
0:00:41 - (Paula): I did. You guys caught me. That's not fair.
0:00:44 - (Kevin): It's two against one.
0:00:45 - (Paula): That's not fair. And you're both men. So I need some girl power over here. Okay, so we're going to talk today about success and how to define it, how to achieve it. So how do you define success, Kevin?
0:00:59 - (Kevin): Yeah, that has changed a lot over the last, let's just say ten years. I'm 34 now. I used to define success as being wealthy. I thought that would be it. If I'm wealthy, I'm successful. Then I reached a level of financial success and my mental health was in the trash and I was very, very single and very, very lonely. So now success to me means becoming the most capable and competent version of myself when it comes to health, wealth and love.
0:01:29 - (Kevin): I don't want to be very financially successful if it means I have to trade in my physical health or the love in my wonderful relationship. Success to me now is juggling all of those and getting the most results out of each of those buckets.
0:01:43 - (Paula): You know what? Even though you're 34 and I'm 50 something, those are still what I strive to achieve for I think we all want all of those things, and it really has nothing to do with money. Most people believe that, but it has absolutely nothing. And actually, if you can wrap your head around money, love, health, then the money does come, the financial wealth does come.
0:02:05 - (Kevin): Well, even that goal, that goal is a very specific, but also a very, very I'll use the word challenging, goal because that means you're just going to have to become, and I'm saying the collective you. You're just going to have to become really competent and you're going to have to work on yourself more than you work on anything else. And I can't imagine a life where that doesn't end up being the most valuable use of your time anyway. So, yeah, I agree. I can't imagine a life where I didn't strive for that. So I'm glad you and I have very similar goals, Paula.
0:02:38 - (Paula): I read this Soul Intention book every morning by Michelle Barr, and the one this morning was Everything You Want Is Just, you got to remove the clutter to find it. So I'm thinking there, what clutter do I still have that I need to remove?
0:02:57 - (Kevin): We all have our own, right? we all have our own limiting beliefs, scarcity mindsets, whatever it may be, and that is just par for the course when it comes to self improvement. Self improvement has changed my life in so many ways, but it's just because it gives you an opportunity to level up, to get better, to become more confident. So, yeah, it really is unconditioning, the stuff that's holding you back.
0:03:17 - (Paula): So what one tool would you say got you started on the self improvement or was your favorite self improvement? I'm going to use the word tool, that got you to your thinking today.
0:03:29 - (Kevin): I would say tracking habits. When I started this journey in 2017, I started tracking five habits a day, and it was track my finances, weigh myself, exercise for 30 minutes, post on social media, and connect with somebody in our podcast community from the very beginning. So, yeah, I mean, I've learned every day for the last six years that's been super important, but now I wake up every day and I really have an understanding of what to do based on the habits that I'm tracking. So I would say that's probably the most important thing I've ever done, honestly.
0:04:05 - (Paula): So you're taking aligned action steps every day?
0:04:07 - (Kevin): Yeah, and I know this is I know it's very privileged that I have the level of clarity that I do, so I don't want to step on any toes with this, but I don't ever really wake up and say, like, what do I do today? I have a list of 26 things that I know I should do. If I can look at those and move the needle on a good majority of them, we're making a lot of progress.
0:04:27 - (Paula): 26 things?
0:04:29 - (Kevin): It's a lot. It's a lot. It started with five, though. So if you're starting, do not think you ever have to get to 26. It's quite overwhelming, to be honest.
0:04:38 - (Paula): I'm really curious. You'll have to email me the 26 so I can see what. That's a lot.
0:04:43 - (Kevin): It is. But if you're reverse engineering the goals you have that's why mine is always going to be different than somebody else, and theirs is going to be different than somebody else. Because it's just these are the things that we believe are the requirements that we need to move the needle on if we really do want to have the level of impact that we claim to.
0:05:00 - (Paula): So how do you deal with, let's say that you don't get all 26 done? How do you deal with that the next day? I mean, a lot of people will shame and guilt themselves. Do you just go, it was a bad day, or what do you do?
0:05:14 - (Kevin): It's a great question. I got a piece of advice on our podcast. A long time ago from one Lori Harder, and she said, consistent 70% days are better than spotty 100's. And that really has been something I have lived with for the last however many years since I heard that. So I used to get frustrated and I used to say, wow, I'm the worst. And it definitely used to attach to my self worth. Now, a 70% day for me today is way better than 100% day was two years ago.
0:05:46 - (Kevin): So it's kind of a sliding scale where if I can do 50%, I'm still doing three times more than I was doing three years ago. That understanding has been very, very reassuring. And then also, if I know I'm not going to get everything done, I try to make sure I'm focused on, okay, what are the most important five things? What rocks can I move? What big rocks can I move? So transparently. I definitely had shame and regret in the beginning, but as I've understood, this is all really the long game anyway. That's really helped me be more reassured when I don't get everything done.
0:06:19 - (Paula): Yeah, I learned that lesson. Did you ever read the book "The Twelve Week Year?"
0:06:22 - (Kevin): I have, yes.
0:06:23 - (Paula): Yeah. So that's their philosophy. Even if you did 50% of what you were supposed to do in those twelve weeks, you're 50% more ahead of where you would have been.
0:06:31 - (Kevin): Yeah, it's great perspective.
0:06:33 - (Paula): So share a story with me about one of the clients that you worked with and how you've inspired them on their journey.
0:06:39 - (Kevin): I had a young lady who, she wasn't even a client at the time, but she reached out to me and said, hey, I have a fear of approaching strangers, the fear of rejection, the fear of judgment, just looking bad, not knowing what to say. I don't know what to do. And long story short, I said, I'm going to take you to the mall. She lives close to me, she was a podcast listener. And I said, I am going to help you fear chase, and we are going to have conversations with strangers. So we went to a local mall and we went into this store. They sold these giant beanbag chairs. And I said, I want you to walk up to the front desk and just ask them how much that chair over there costs.
0:07:15 - (Kevin): And she said, no, this is going to be terrible. And I said, I promise it's going to go better than you expect. She went up, started a conversation, and the conversation went very, very well. We went to another store, same thing, another store, same thing. Then we got bold and went down to the food court, same type of conversations. Then she was having conversations with people on the escalator. We were getting ready to leave that day, Paula, and for some reason this mall had these mechanical zoo animals that you could rent. So think of a giraffe on wheels for some reason, I don't know, but it was very interesting.
0:07:47 - (Kevin): So we were walking by that zoo animal exhibit, getting ready to leave, and she said if we were really brave and we really wanted to fear chase, we would rent those things. So I have a video on my phone of us riding those things around the mall. After that, she ended up going back to school even though she had been convinced she wasn't smart enough. And she got a 3.9. So I think she did just fine. She ended up moving from a small town in Rhode Island to her dream location in Nashville, Tennessee. And she actually was on our team for three years.
0:08:21 - (Kevin): And this all started with somebody saying, I am not confident enough, I'm not capable enough. I can't even start conversations with strangers. It's amazing how one interaction and borrowing somebody's belief can create so much momentum and transparently. I wonder if that day changed my life as much, if not more, than it changed hers. Because it really showed me, number one, how much impact you can have, and number two, how malleable we are as human beings.
0:08:47 - (Paula): What do you mean by borrowing somebody's belief? What do you mean by that? I mean, that's a fantastic story. If I should say that first, I appreciate it. But that just caught my, first the giraffe on wheels caught my attention, and then the belief.
0:09:00 - (Kevin): Yeah, I don't know. I realized, and I think I have a very unique perspective on this because I might come off as a very confident human being, and that's just because I've done this thousands of times. I was never confident and I never had a ton of belief in myself. One of the reasons I am where I am today is because my business partner is the most confident human I've ever met in my entire life, bar none. I've never met anybody close and he allowed me to borrow his belief.
0:09:28 - (Kevin): So all I mean by that is if I'm afraid to do something and somebody says, no, Kev, come on, you can do it, I'll do it with you. And I'll kind of make sure we get the result that you desire. That's a good example of borrowing belief. And then in that situation, I told her name is Amy. I told Amy, I said, I'm going to make sure that everything works out just fine. You're going to be safe with me. I believe you can do this.
0:09:52 - (Kevin): Let me instill the belief to take something where you have determined in your mind it's not possible. Let's get you to take a new action. With my belief, if you take new action, you'll get a new result. If you get a new result, you'll have new feedback. And if you get new feedback, it's going to lock in that belief. So it really is just injecting that in between, I don't think I can do this. And therefore I'll never get the result.
0:10:17 - (Kevin): That's probably the best definition of borrowing belief I could give.
0:10:20 - (Paula): Okay, so now here's my next question. Okay, so you borrow the belief. It happens, you take the action. Now, what happens when your old memories or your old personality steps back in? Because it will and no, Amy, you can't do that.
0:10:38 - (Kevin): Yeah, it's a great question. A lot of reversions tend to happen, for sure. I always try to, and I do this myself, and that's why I try to advise it. I look at the most recent and relevant proof. So just as an example, I was going on a podcast recently, and I was in the green room, much like I was today before I joined you both. And I had this moment where I was thinking, okay, the host of this podcast is not only a doctor, but she is a doctor for NASA. She is a space doctor.
0:11:13 - (Kevin): I didn't even know that was a real thing. I've seen it in movies, I've seen it on television. I didn't realize that was a real career. There's no way I'm supposed to be in this room. There must be another Kevin Palmieri. Something must have got mixed up. But I sat there and I said, okay, well, what's the most recent and relevant proof? Well, two weeks ago, I was on a podcast with a doctor of psychology where I had the same thought, I don't belong here. This is going to go horribly wrong.
0:11:39 - (Kevin): And it actually went really, really well. If you're living in impostor syndrome and you're expanding your possibilities, you can say, okay, the most recent proof I have is, last time I was afraid to do this, I did it anyway. And the relevance to that is it kind of went better than I expected. I just haven't learned the new identity yet. I've been practicing new identity behaviors, but I just haven't downloaded that new identity yet. So, yeah, for me, that's what I always talk about is look at the most recent proof, look at the most relevant proof, and hopefully that will prove your limiting beliefs wrong and your empowering beliefs. Right.
0:12:17 - (Paula): So you had that when you were talking to the space doctor, which I didn't know, actually, either.
0:12:22 - (Kevin): Join the club. Somebody's going to take care of those astronauts, right?
0:12:26 - (Paula): Evidently, yeah. And then the two weeks prior to that was the, I think what you said, a psychologist.
0:12:29 - (Kevin): Yes.
0:12:30 - (Paula): So then you said that you haven't downloaded that new identity. When does it get downloaded? How do you make that happen?
0:12:39 - (Kevin): I think it depends on the person. I think it depends on a lot of things. It depends on the level of limiting beliefs you have. It depends on what your self concept of yourself really is. It depends on the depth that you're diving when you're practicing things. So it took me roughly 150 podcast episodes to ever feel like a podcaster, like a confident, capable podcaster. It didn't take me that many speeches to feel like I was a speaker because I already had time under tension. I already had experience as a speaker.
0:13:15 - (Kevin): So I have another podcast about podcasts. I'm 60 episodes in, and I told my business partner yesterday, I said, I really feel like I'm starting to hit my stride when it comes to doing a solo podcast by myself. I feel competent, I feel more confident now. So I would say it depends on the level of practice and the level of deliberate practice that you're putting in. It depends on where your starting point is.
0:13:41 - (Kevin): I would say it's probably going to take longer than you think. I believe that's one of the reasons a lot of us cut the cord on stuff way too soon. I could have stopped a year into the new podcast, 52 episodes and said, I don't know, I just don't think I can do it solo. I don't think I can do a podcast by myself. But here we are eight episodes later, and I feel completely different. So I would say it's probably going to take longer than you think.
0:14:04 - (Kevin): And if you can design your life around doing that type of stuff, it's probably going to happen quicker.
0:14:10 - (Paula): So that list of 26 things that you do daily or try to do daily, is that one of the things on your list?
0:14:18 - (Kevin): It was in the beginning. In the beginning, I don't remember exactly what was what in the beginning, but one of them was fear chasing. And what I would do is I would write how many fears I chased on a daily basis. So say I did a podcast interview. I'd say, okay, that's one fear. Okay, I did something else. I reached out to a potential client, or I did a coaching call. Okay, that's two more. I would track the numbers of fears I chased, and that really, really helped me because again, it proved the scarcity part of me wrong and the abundant part of me right.
0:14:52 - (Kevin): And that's something I've had many, many clients do. If you can track your fears, it just proves to you that a lot of the fears you have are made up and you've just determined that you can't do them. When you start knocking down those walls, they just become more real and it becomes more accessible to you. So that's the closest I would say I've done in terms of a habit for that.
0:15:12 - (Paula): I love that fear chasing. I think I'm going to put that on a list for tomorrow. I don't think I'm going to do it today. I think I'll do it tomorrow. I think I fear chase a lot. I mean, when I meet speaking of podcasts too, I get like little butterflies in my stomach because there's a lot of people out there smarter than me. But I'm good at what I'm good at, and I appreciate every skill that I have, but I get really nervous sometimes talking. And that fear. I know when I first open my have to say those first words, hello.
0:15:42 - (Paula): I mean, that fear comes out. But if it's a great conversation like we're having, it becomes very easy. But you still feel that like, oh, my God, is this going to be okay? Would somebody even find it interesting or somebody really willing to listen to it?
0:15:56 - (Kevin): Yeah, I get that. I am terrified of public speaking.
0:15:58 - (Paula): Oh, I love public speaking.
0:16:00 - (Kevin): See, I love podcasts. I don't get nervous before podcasts anymore, but I struggle to sleep the night before a public speaking event. So that's the other part too. It depends. It depends on you. It depends on the way you're wired. There's just so many intricacies that determine that stuff.
0:16:16 - (Paula): You're fascinating.
0:16:17 - (Kevin): I appreciate that very much.
0:16:18 - (Paula): You've mentioned podcasts. You have two podcasts. What's the title of them?
0:16:22 - (Kevin): One is Next Level University. That we have 1440 episodes, I believe, as of today. And then I have Podcast Growth University, which I think I have 62 episodes of.
0:16:36 - (Paula): And I know I really didn't even really introduce you when we first came on. So why don't you tell me exactly what Next Level University is all about?
0:16:45 - (Kevin): Next Level University is a holistic approach to self improvement. So our podcast is catered for people who consider themselves,
0:16:54 – (Paula) Wwait a minute, Kevin, you forgot the bullshit.
0:16:56 - (Kevin): Hard driven, but no bullshit holistic self improvement, Paula. It's for people who consider themselves dream chasers. They might not be entrepreneurs, they might not be business owners ever, but they do know there's more to life and they want to find a way to get it. And our thought process is I can teach all the high level stuff that I know, but if I cannot help you figure out who you believe you are and the identity level stuff, it's going to be very hard to adopt new tactics.
0:17:27 - (Kevin): So that really is our belief. If you can get a little bit better every day, that's really all I've done over the last six years. I've worked really diligently to just get a little bit better every day. I'm drastically different than I was six years ago, but yesterday I'm pretty much the same person as I am today. It's not even noticeable. And that's why we do an episode every day. Because if I'm going to tell you can get a little bit better every day, the least I can do is be in your pocket every day for you to listen to.
0:17:53 - (Paula): So find someone who's struggling. And I have dreams, but I don't have a clue how to get started. What's the simplest thing? Is it just sending you an email?
0:18:06 - (Kevin): So this is a weird thing about me. I don't know. I suppose it's weird. I don't ever suggest somebody reaches out to me first. I always suggest people listen to the podcast because you're going to learn about yourself for sure. You're going to learn about us. You're going to see the personalities. You're going to see kind of how we show up and how we approach self improvement. And it's totally free.
0:18:29 - (Kevin): So that's always been my approach is if you're listening and you want to know more, we have a website that has everything. You can always email me, but the podcast is free, it's consistent, and if you're a dream chaser, it has been created for you.
0:18:42 - (Paula): Why don't you go ahead and throw out your website?
0:18:45 - (Kevin): It is www.nextleveluniverse.com. The person who has next level university was bartering with us, and it was expensive.
0:18:58 - (Paula): Okay, one last question, and then I'm going to let you go. Sure. What's your favorite favorite book?
0:19:03 - (Kevin): My favorite book is probably Mindset by Carol Dweck. I had a very fixed mindset at the beginning of this whole journey. I even used that word malleable earlier. When it comes to humans, I did not believe my brain was malleable. I thought the way I thought was the way I was going to think forever. That book was really, really helpful for me. Simple to consume, but very, very powerful.
0:19:28 - (Paula): Okay. I really, really appreciate having you on today. You've been fascinating.
0:19:32 - (Kevin): Thank you.
0:19:33 - (Paula): Okay, if anybody wants to get a hold of you, do you want to give out your email?
0:19:37 - (Kevin): Yeah.
0:19:37 - (Paula): Okay.
0:19:38 - (Kevin): It's just Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com. Questions about anything, comments about anything. I do my own emails, so I will get back to you if you reach out and I'd love to hear from you.
0:19:47 - (Paula): Thanks again, Kevin. If anybody would like to reach me, they can reach me at paula@paulachristine.com or check out my website at paulachristine.com. Thanks again.