Today, Paula is joined by business and executive coach Jon Dwoskin to talk about mindset and goalsetting.
We may not realize that our mindset comes from what we learn at a very young age, from our parents, grandparents, and other surroundings. Jon explains the deliberate effort to quiet these "voices in your head," and differentiate your own thoughts from the ones that have been imparted onto you by others.
Next we talk about goal setting. According to Jon, the key to goal setting is not to create giant "New Year's Resolution" type goals, but rather small attainable goals that you can easily get back to if you stumble.
This leads into a discussion about "To-Do Lists," and how not to be overwhelmed by them. Prioritization is the name of the game here - you must be able to list your priorities, and be able to re-prioritize when something inevitably comes up.
Finally, Paula asks Jon what financial advice he would give his younger self. His answer may surprise you!
Connect with Jon Dwoskin by phone at (248) 535-7796 or visit his website at https://jondwoskin.com/
For more on Paula Christine, including her Making Money Matter Course, visit https://paulachristine.com/
Paula: Welcome to Beyond the Paycheck. I'm Paula Christine. Living paycheck to paycheck and struggling to get ahead really sucks, but you can take control of your money and live the life that you dream about, with knowledge and commitment. I'll provide you with the knowledge. It's up to you to make the commitment.
So today I've been watching this business and sales coach, who I find very fascinating. So I've asked him here today to talk about goal setting and mindset. His name is Jon Dwoskin. He actually has his own podcast called Think Business, and I highly recommend that you all tune in. So welcome Jon.
Jon: Thanks Paula. It's good to be here.
Paula: In my Making Money Matter course, one of the first modules talks about goal setting and your mindset towards money. So I know that your mindset is set a lot by your child influences like your parents or your family members or media, friends. So if you have maybe a negative or unhealthy mindset towards money or just in anything, cuz sometimes your parents will say, you , I can never get ahead.
Or, Money is the root of all evil. The rich are always gonna be rich. So how do you change those limiting beliefs as you become an adult?
Jon: Yeah. Well I think one of the most important things, Paula, is to really understand where those voices are coming from and what's your voice and what is somebody else's voice.
And I think as you combine that with mindset, it's really finding a quiet place to really get in touch with your own thoughts, right?. What your own DNA and your own soul is thinking, feeling and saying to yourself. And when you do that and you start to compartmentalize other people's thoughts and opinions and then make an adult decision on are those your opinions and are those your opinions of who you are today versus maybe what you were raised in or what you thought you were.
I'm a big believer that the same level of consciousness that got you to where you are isn't gonna get you to where you wanna go. There's lots of voices I have in my head and many people have in their head of their mom, their dad, their grandfather, their grandmother, their aunt, their uncle, the da, da da, da.
But I think a practice that I've always, well, I shouldn't say always, but I'm 50 years old, really spending time on, is when I was in my late twenties, probably 30 years old. Really determining what was my voice and what were other people's voices that were maybe influencing me in a way that was holding me back. And the more I found my own voice, the more I could grow as an individual.
Paula: Could you give us an example of one of those voices if it's not too personal?
Jon: I can actually, I mean, it's a business example, but when I was 23 years old, I started an internet company. I sold it, I did it with my brother.
We did it with a friend of ours. And then after we were done with that company, my brother was doing another business and wanted me to be part of it, and my Dad did as well. I really didn't want to, I wanted to take some time off and unplug, and my voice was telling me and my gut was telling me, you know, don't do it, but my dad's voice and influence was telling me to do it.
And so I kind of conformed to that and, you know, did the best I could with the company. But at the end of the day, the company didn't work. And I had to write a pretty decent size check to close the company as it did other two partners. There were other factors in it other than me not wanting to do it, because I did my best while I was there, but I just should have listened to my own voice versus being overly influenced by other people.
Paula: That's really hard to listen to your own voice. I know I've struggled with that for quite a few years. And up until I got divorced, and then I went into this really growth mindset and started doing meditations and affirmations and starting to realize that my voice is the right voice to listen to.
You struggle with that? I think.
Jon: Yeah. I think it's a journey. I mean, I meditate a lot. One of the things that I do a lot is when I hear certain voices, I try to quiet them and get centered and determine what is mine and what is somebody else.
Paula: I know I still struggle with it a little bit, and sometimes I think in myself, God your, intuition is what I call it, said, Don't do that, but yet you did it. And you should have just listened. So I try to listen more and more.
I'm gonna change the subject a little bit. Still on mindset, but it's also on goals. We have the best intention and we sit down, everybody's set goals before they sit down, they list them, they put a plan together, they execute 'em.
But we don't always succeed. So what is that mindset needed around goal setting that makes them achievable?
Jon: I think the mindset for goal setting, Paula, is to keep the goals small and attainable, where you can maintain a consistency. I think sometimes when people are setting goals, They're setting New Year's resolutions and everything's so big and everything's so grand, and so they're hard to maintain.
And so if you keep it consistent and small, then I think it can really work for you. I do my best to keep my goals pretty small. I mean, I have big goals, but I break 'em down into kind of a daily routine where they're just small. As an example, I'm writing my second book right now. And to write a book is a big feat.
It takes nine to 12 months to do. So what I do is I set a goal where I write for about 30 minutes, three days a week, or a thousand words, whatever comes first. And so I can't do an hour every single day or, two hours every day or eight hours on a Saturday. It just doesn't work for me.
But small, attainable things that don't burn me out, that keep it fresh and keep it going work really well for me. And I think as a profession, I''m a business coach and I find that when I work with clients, whether it's a salesperson or somebody in a Fortune company or anything in between, solopreneur. Small goals that someone can remain consistent with work really, really well.
Paula: And actually, when you said a thousand words a week, that's really not a lot when you think about it. It's very obtainable. But what happens if you get derailed? Like, I know stuff happens, so how do you regroup and then continue to move forward?
Jon: Well, I think it's about showing grace on yourself and not being so hard on yourself. One of the things that I think people forget to remember is that they can course correct. It's, you know, hey, this isn't working, and so now I'm gonna move it to something that does. And so I think we all gotta kinda get back to center.
I think we all lose our way and we all get off track. And I think that's a constant, I don't think there's any one person that's perfect, but the question is how quickly can we get back to center, back into alignment? To just start again? For some people can be a day, an hour. Some people it takes a month or a week or a quarter.
But the question is how quickly can we get back to what our plan was? If our plan was small and consistent, that compounds in a really big way and doesn't really feel like work. I think when goals start feeling like work too much, and they take too much energy, and I think it's not just about the goal, but it's about the energy management around the goal or the intent or the energy around the goal that you set.
If I set a goal today that I wanna buy a $5 million house and I have no money today and I wanna buy the house in a year? Then the energy that it takes to make that happen. Could it happen for someone? Yes, but the energy to make that happen, it's gonna be a lot versus somebody who does it over three years.
Paula: So breaking it down into the smaller goals like you talked about before. Often we do checklists, you know how people do to-do lists and checklists. Sure. But yeah, we fail at that a lot because you write things down that weren't initially on there. I might be telling too much about myself, but you write things down that weren't initially on there just so you can check it off or you just don't complete it because you got sidetracked throughout the day. It's kind of like that check the box mentality. I mean I know I often fail at it and I'm sure I'm not the only one. So how do you change that mentality? Do you just do again, the small little task so that you get those accomplished on a daily basis or?
Jon: You know, I think where people get checklists wrong are they don't prioritize the checklist.
And so if I have a checklist, one of the things I do at the end of every day is I prioritize what I need to do for the next. And so for those who have a checklist or a to-do list or to-dos in their calendar, however they do it. I think the key is you prioritize it, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, et cetera, et cetera.
And then you do number two when you're done with number one. You do number three when you're done with number two, but it's all about prioritizing and then reprioritizing through the day as things come up. So at the end of the day,, things didn't, go the way I thought. At least I got my top three priorities in.
At least I did the top three things I was supposed to do. So it's all about not just creating the list, but really prioritizing the list in specific order. That's what's worked for me in many of the clients I coach.
Paula: Okay, I can do that.
Jon: In theory, it's simple in theory.
Paula: . I know you were like, Well, I can do all those things.
Jon: Well, I can. I learned how to do all of those things, right? I learned how to do all these things from being overwhelmed with all of these things, you know? So to me it was, Hey, my to-do list is a mile long. If I can't get things done, why am I stressed out at the end of the day? So I taught myself how to prioritize and learn from other people, Oh, this is how you do it. So it's a quick fix. You just gotta be disciplined to do it.
Paula: Well, I think discipline's the key in every, in all aspects of life. Yeah. And I think we struggle with that. Cuz a lot goes with the way that you're thinking that day or, like today, I got up and I'm a little bit under the weather, so you know, I'm kind of going through the day. Where, I'm not gonna get a lot of the things done I hope to get done today. So it gets pushed on to the next day and then you hope you get it done into the next day. So the course that we put together called Making Money Matter talks about getting your finances in order so that you can achieve the life that you want to.
So what one thing would you say to your younger self about money?
Jon: I would say when it comes to money, Well, first of all, I think it's really important to have a great relationship with money. I would tell myself earlier what it means to be a conscious capitalist, meaning you can have a zen piece about you, but also be a capitalist and make a lot of money.
And that it's okay to make a lot of money because the more money you make, you can help a lot of people. And so anything that's holding you back from making a lot of money because you've got a spiritual or a Zen side that you wanna connect with, but you also wanna be a capitalist, you can actually be both.
And the more people that you help, the more money you can make, and the more money you make, the more people you can help. So I think that's a really important lesson. I wish I would've heard that when I was in my early twentie. I always, um, I love making money. I think it's a very fun thing to do and I think it's really important to have a good relationship with money.
And I would also tell my 20 year old self, don't worry, there's always gonna be enough. There's always gonna be enough. People worry,and I've been in this boat too, where you worry thatare you gonna have enough money for this? Are you gonna have enough money for that? I really believe if you do the work, if you plan and you do the work, then don't worry so much about money.
Paula: I agree with that because I grew up in a very low middle class family and we struggled. My parents struggled with money and I took that into my adulthood. I was constantly saying to my kids, we can't have that. We're broke. And so I was kind of living that broke mindset. And when I went through the divorce and I had to go through that whole growth process and learn about myself. One of the things I listened to was Abraham Hicks.
Jon: Yeah. I love her. Yeah, she's great.
Paula: So she said the thing that you need to be saying to yourself is, I don't worry about money. I have all the money I can spend. And when I started saying that to myself over and over and over again, until it's stuck, I really don't worry about money. And it always seems to be there. It's crazy.
Jon: And I think sometimes, you know, you talk about voices. My dad would always stress about certain pieces of money and expenses, and I found myself and still find myself nervous about the same stuff he was nervous about. And I don't need to be nervous about some of the stuff that he was nervous about, but it's just familiar, you know?
So I find myself a lot, just telling myself to quiet that voice that's in my head because it doesn't apply to me anymore. I'll say something like, Thank you very much for whatever you did for me to this moment. I don't need it anymore. And so I think that those voices are strong, but I think the first level of it is to your initial question is,
Being aware is number one, once you're aware that all the voices aren't yours, you can actually ask yourself, "Wait, who's thinking this right now?" and then listen to your gut. This is what I do. Oh, that's my dad. That's my grandfather. That's my mom. That was, that was, This isn't mine. So I do my best to go through a process to disconnect from it and cut it from my level of thinking. It doesn't happen overnight, but that's kind of my flow of how I flow through it.
Paula: Yeah. I was listening to this Law of Attraction coach and she said, When you get those thoughts that you just say, you know, I'm just not available for that thought anymore, I'm available for this.
Jon: Yeah, that's a good one.
Paula: I've just been putting that so those thoughts come in, you know, it's just, I'm not available for that. But I'm available for this. And it's been, it's really been cool watching my thought pattern change.
Jon: That is cool.
Paula: So I really, really appreciate you being with me today. I have learned a lot. I always enjoy talking with you.
Jon: Thank you.
Paula: Someone wants to reach out to you. How can they get ahold of you?
Jon: Yeah. Well, Paula, thank you for having me on the show, and thank you to your listeners for listening. I appreciate it. I can be reached at JonDwoskin.com Or you can call me (248) 535-7796 or shoot me a text. My email is Jon@JonDwoskin.com. And if anybody's interested in business coaching, one-on-one custom or a private coaching group I have, or some online classes that I have. If you're looking to grow your business, I work with successful people who are stuck.
And I get them unstuck and I love what I do and everything about me and my services are all on my website at Jondwoskin.com. From there, you can get onto all my social platforms as well.
Paula: Thanks again, Jon. I really do appreciate it. So if anybody would like to get ahold of me, you can email me at paula@paulachristine.com.
Or you can check out my website at paulachristine.com. So next week, we're gonna talk about, it's getting holiday spending time and everybody's seeing those Black Friday ads already, even though it's only October. So we're gonna talk about how to manage holiday spending and then set yourself up next year so that it's already in your budget.
And so when Christmas comes, you've had all the money that you need. So thanks again, Jon, I appreciate it and we will talk to you guys next week.
Jon: Thanks, Paula.